Micah's appointment with the pediatric gastroenterologist from Kansas City is this afternoon. Thankfully, this doc holds a clinic here once a month, so we don't have to add travel time and expense to this already stressful situation.
I need to fill out a mountain of paperwork and get my attitude straight before 2:30. I can't help but dread the appointment for many reasons, but one of the main reasons is that his appointment is in the same office where my former liver doctor practices. The place where I got a virtual death sentence every month, then every three months, for almost two years. I left every single appointment with a tear-streaked face and a broken heart.
I don't want to transmit those emotions to my son, but I doubt my own ability to be that strong. Thank goodness I don't have to be strong. God told Paul in 2 Corinthians 12: "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness," to which Paul replied, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses..in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Honestly, I don't yet "delight" in these trials; don't know if I ever will. But God has shown His strength in my weakness innumerable times, and that daily dose of grace is the only way I make it through some days, like today. Amazing grace, indeed.
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You can do this. As a mother you are gifted with the ability to always have more to give. Hang in there and remember that you are not alone, this is a completely different situation from before, and we are all praying with you.
ReplyDeleteGive that sweet boy a huge hug! And have him give you one back.
And definitely watch some cartoons. They always help.